I'm Letting Go

Letting go of him has been the easy part. 

Letting go of what we could have been has proved more difficult. I think it’s an idea that I could have attached to anyone. I would have imagined a future with any boy that showed a slight interest in me. He just happened to be the one that my heart opened up to. The reality that we will never be together set in quite a while ago. I have accepted that it is not in God’s plan for us to be together, certainly not at this point in our lives. What I struggle to accept, is the dream that I had for us.

Where am I going with this? Well, as a young catholic woman that has never been in a relationship (eeek!), I cannot help imagining a future with a good catholic boy. I imagined us getting married and raising good catholic children. It is the romantic in me and that’s okay. What I’ve since realised is that it is important to guard your heart. It is okay to dream, but not if it means you attach unrealistic expectations on a boy that is still figuring out how he feels about you. In a way, what I did was unfair to him. I began to resent him for not liking more when in reality I allowed my mind, and yes, my heart to sprint ahead. I think it’s okay to have the dream. I just need to learn to focus on keeping those dreams in check and focus on the now.

I’m letting go of the dream I had and focusing on the life I have now.