Why?

Why did I start this blog?

This question has been on repeat in my mind for the past week. It’s not a deep philosophical question but rather doubt creeping into my mind. The idea of starting my own blog popped into my mind late last year. I even wrote down a ‘first post’. I never got around to starting it though. I could blame a busy university schedule but the truth is I was afraid.

Good old fear.

I recently realized what a great impact fear has had on my life. I’m constantly afraid of what others will think of me. It’s the reason why I never raise my hand in class and why I hesitate to share my thoughts in a group discussion. There is always a fear that people will think I’m stupid or inadequate. This fear has manifested itself in my life in different ways and not starting this blog was one of them. I have grown quite a bit in the past year and that growth has resulted in me doing a few new things without fear or hesitation. Starting this blog was a continuation of that streak of fearless acts but almost a day after posting I was gripped with doubt and fear. Why on earth had I started this blog? What will people (if anyone reads this) think of what I have to say? Why????

These questions have taken over my mind and the easy solution would be to take this blog down, but I would rather keep it up. Not because I’m no longer afraid, (I’m hesitant to even put this post up) but because I believe that I have to do this in spite of my fears.

Why? Well for me it’s simple. God put this idea into my heart for a reason and I can only give it over to His will. I’m not sure of what will come out of it. Perhaps it will just be a place where I can share a few thoughts with no one but myself. I just know that sometimes following God’s plan means stepping out of your comfort zone. The fear will probably always be there, I can’t avoid it so I’m choosing to move through it. I believe that even doing that brings Him glory. In doing this I am being fearless, which is what Christ calls us to be. Perhaps this is just the first step in me living out a fearless faith in God. Whatever the outcome I pray it is just one in many steps towards deepening my trust and faith in God.

I pray that we can all be inspired to live out our faith fearlessly. I’ll be praying for you.